HMS Brentwood Ahoy!

When I was elected to be a Councillor on Brentwood Council in May last year, I’d envisaged boarding an ocean bound liner, The HMS Brentwood, steered by members heading for interesting and sometimes adverse destinations – with platforms for debate, rooms for flexibility, vast pools of knowledge and expertise; with space for listening and an enthusiastic, motivated crew. An exciting vessel full of ideas that make it an attractive and vibrant place to be and work with, enabling partnerships and transoceanic trade.

Instead I find myself on board the vast container ship ‘Uninspiring’ sailing, with questionable seaworthiness, along the straightest of Straits headed up by a crew of members who seem to be making it up as they go along. Their main concern is the bottom (plimsoll) line, keeping a lid on every container and flexing the Whip. It has windowless cabins with no vision.

To keep it afloat there have been many casualties; tenants have been left high and dry; arts and culture, sports and health have been offloaded; the place is overrun with rats as the rat catcher was made to walk the plank and the gangways are rotting because the highways department was traded. The only thing left for staff to do is to collect up the rubbish, weekly, and announce it on the ships tannoy, over and over and over.

But! Splice the mainbrace!......there is hope on the horizon. Fortunately others aboard this grey vessel also speak of that visionary, ocean bound liner.

There’s mutiny afoot and I know where I’m nailing my flag – HMS Brentwood AHOY!